(Photo courtesy of BC Living)
"A Russian athlete who won bronze in the mixed curling at the Winter Olympics has failed a preliminary drug test, putting his medal into jeopardy and throwing the spotlight on the decision to welcome 168 Russian athletes to Pyeongchang after the country was nominally banned for state-sponsored doping in Sochi four years ago. The athlete has not been officially named but sources have confirmed reports in Russia that it is Alexander Krushelnytsky, who was found to have meldonium in his urine after playing in the mixed-curling tournament as a member of the Olympic Athletes from Russia team alongside his wife, Anastasia Bryzgalova. The substance, which is used to treat heart attack victims, has been prohibited since 2016. It was commonly used by Russian athletes before that, including Maria Sharapova, who was banned for 15 months after she failed a test at the Australian Open in January 2016." (via The Guardian)
Unbelievable. Absolutely unreal. I did a little research into this ‘meldonium’ and found that its primary athletic purpose is to increase oxygen flow to tissue in the body. So this all makes perfect sense, right? As Xander was out on the ice, feverishly sweeping and willing the rock into the button (yes, I just looked up some curling terms), he used this banned drug to improve his cardiovascular health. I mean, I don’t get what people wouldn’t understand--you see curlers all the time keeled over with their hands on their knees, gasping for breath after a particularly tiring throw (is that what it’s called?). And dammit, Xanax Xander skirted this catastrophic side effect of curling by taking an illicit substance. Obviously, increased oxygen flow to bodily tissue allowed him and his wife to win a bronze medal. Strip this man of his victory; in fact, strip him of every medal he’s ever won. You know what, if it were up to me, I’d just ban the entire Russian curling team (sorry, the curling team of the Olympic Athletes of Russia) because they probably gained a significant advantage thanks to Alexander’s increased oxygen flow.
Jokes aside, the stupidity of this man’s shenanigans is off the charts. First of all, why would an athlete who performs in an event that requires little to no cardiovascular ability cheat by using a drug that enhances heart health? I mean, if you’re gonna cheat, there have to be better drugs out there for curling (improved coordination, balance, strength, and speed of “sweeping”?). And second of all, why the hell would you choose to bend the rules when the Olympic Committee spent the last six months bending you over and taking a paddle to your behind for the ridiculous doping scandal that’s been happening in your country? It makes no sense. If you’re gonna cheat, you might as well cheat in a way that’s gonna help you. Makes you wonder if he knew what kind of curling he was getting into.
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