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I Didn't Realize That Winning Super Bowls Isn't Fun


(Photo by DavidRockDesign)

Former Patriots benchwarmer Cassius Marsh--now playing for the San Francisco 49ers, though I doubt anyone knew who he was before now--recently made headlines by telling the San Francisco Chronicle that playing for the Patriots wasn’t fun.


Marsh said, "They don't have fun there. There's nothing fun about it. There's nothing happy about it. I didn't enjoy any of my time there, you know what I'm saying? It made me for the first time in my life think about not playing football because I hated it that much."


Imagine being an NFL player, making millions of dollars a year, getting to wear the uniform of the most successful sports franchises of the 21st century, and saying that it made you consider retiring from the game of football. If it’s difficult for you to imagine being that utterly stupid, don’t worry; the level of idiocy displayed here has reached levels never before seen in the history of man.


Marsh further complained by stating that “They asked me to do a bunch of stuff that I had never done: covering running backs and receivers and basically almost never rushing the passer, which is what I did in playing defensive line.”


Wow! They asked you to be versatile! How outrageous! It’s not like the Patriots have ever had players playing outside their usual roles. Sarcasm aside for a moment, some of the most successful players in the history of the Bill Belichick Patriots have been willing to take on tasks outside their normal job. Julian Edelman played corner for the Patriots in 2011-12 (they also made the Super Bowl), and Mike Vrabel, a linebacker, was famous for his receiving touchdowns in Super Bowls 38 and 39.


The bottom line here is that Cassius Marsh is a complete idiot. And despite the title of the SF Chronicle’s article, “49ers defensive end Cassius Marsh feels appreciated, finally,” Marsh continues to warrant absolutely no respect or appreciation. What a loser.

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