I’m about to take you on a journey to a place you’ve never been before. In fact, some would call this destination the “promised land” while others would describe it as a “higher realm.”
Either way, you’ll have to prepare yourself before getting anywhere near this content. It is so high energy that it could quite literally cause your entire face to melt off and flow into the ocean. What you’re about to read is not only vital to your mental well-being but also to the spiritual health of all of human civilization. It’s safe to say that this is important stuff.
This is not a list of the “greatest” players of all-time. This not a list of the “most talented” players of all-time. This is something never before seen in the history of human events.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the All-Scott Team of All-Time:
Head Coach: Jeff Fisher
Why Jeff Fisher? Well my english teacher tells me that it’s better to show rather than tell so here ya go:
There he is in his natural state, wheeling and dealing. What a guy. Definitely All-Scott Team material.
Quarterback: Tom Brady
I know it’s not the most interesting pick, but it is the right one. Tom Brady is absolutely the QB of the All-Scott Team and is far superior to any other living being (terrestrial or otherwise). I will go to war with anyone who says otherwise; I’m looking at you, Rob Parker.
Offensive Lineman: Michael Oher
The Blind Side was a good movie.
Running Back: DION LEWIS
Could I have picked anyone else? DION LEWIS, whose name can only be spelled in all caps, is not only a phenomenal football player, world class athlete, and an overall high-quality living entity, but he is also the guy who started the greatest and most heated debate in the history of the blossoming global enterprise that is Third and Long. We must not forget that it was said debate which gave the famous Third and Long writer and intellectual Ryan “Box Score” Bishop his name. Not just the nickname, but also his actual name too. True story.
Wide Receiver #1: Josh Gordon
The intro (returning from breaks) to Third and Long’s radio/Facebook Live broadcast includes Tucker saying something to the effect of “whenever I try to make a point, you just cut in and start yelling JOSH GORDON!!!” This is true--incredibly true, in fact, and the reason I do that is because the name “Josh Gordon” is far more important than anything Tucker could be saying at that particular time. Josh Gordon is absolutely unbelievable. He’s just fantastic. People forget that his 2013 season was the greatest season ever by any receiver. Gordon’s 118 yards per game in 2013 goes unmatched by any of the other all-time greats. Guys like Antonio Brown and Jerry Rice could only dream of reaching the heights of Josh Gordon. Admittedly, the guy has had some off-the-field issues, but he has those straightened out now. The question is not “will Josh Gordon be a Hall-of-Famer?” but rather “how quickly can they count the last ballot and fly him to Canton?”
Wide Receiver #2: Donte Moncrief
I know this won’t be a popular pick, but this isn’t a popularity contest, now is it? Donte Moncrief is a touchdown machine. With Andrew Luck last year, he was an absolute beat in the red zone. The guy had a touchdown in almost every game, but he’s not just a red zone target. Donte Moncrief is a walking big play. Need to take a deep shot with the game on the line? I have one name for you: Donte Moncrief.
Tight End: Ladarius Green
I’ve never cared very much about tight ends.
Defensive Lineman: “Mean” Joe Greene
Easy pick here. “Mean Joe” was a great defensive tackle and he was even better in commercials.
Linebacker: Mike Vrabel
I could have picked Tedy Bruschi here, but I went with Vrabel, because he caught two touchdowns in back-to-back Super Bowls. Don’t believe me? Watch it here. Mike Vrabel was a better all-around receiver than Jerry Rice. Change my mind.
Corner: Darrelle Revis
Revis Island is a place no receiver wanted to visit back in the glory days of Rex Ryan’s New York Jets. As one of the greatest shutdown corners of all-time, Revis was a great player and a welcome addition to the All-Scott Team.
Safety: Rodney Harrison
Rodney Harrison provided the old Patriots the toughness they needed to claim the glorious 3-out-of-4 dynasty they had back in the day.
Recap:
First Team All-Scott:
HC: Jeff Fisher
QB: Tom Brady
OL: Michael Oher
RB: DION LEWIS
WR1: Josh Gordon
WR2: Donte Moncrief
TE: Ladarius Green
DL: Joe Greene
LB: Mike Vrabel
CB: Darrelle Revis
S: Rodney Harrison
Now for the guys that came up just short:
Second Team All-Scott
QB: Philip Rivers
RB: Matt Forte
WR1: Dez Bryant
WR2: Allen Robinson
TE: Eric Ebron
LB: Tedy Bruschi
CB: Malcolm Butler
S: Ed Reed
And now those who came up even shorter:
Honorable Mentions:
Wade Phillips
Johnny Manziel
Marcus Mariota
Kareem Hunt
Danny Woodhead
Stefon Diggs
Danny Amendola
Gary Barnidge
Dont’a Hightower
Charles Woodson
Earl Thomas
Opmerkingen